Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
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