all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
