Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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