i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
