no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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