Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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