Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
