So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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