Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
