I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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