I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
