So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
