That's when you crack a 10am beer
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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