Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
