Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
