He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
