I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
