I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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