me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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