You work out of a Hotel?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
