Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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