Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
