I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
