i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
should my penis look like a turkey
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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