just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
