All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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