they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
