We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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