According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
