No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
