I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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