Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
