Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
