will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
organizing the empties. That sober.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
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