Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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