Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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