I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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