My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
