I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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