my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
