How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
