So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
