Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
