I didn't shave. On purpose
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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