i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
