I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
