Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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