It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
