Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
