at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
