But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
she looked like the before picture.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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