One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
