I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
